How to Prevent Your Life from Becoming a Horror Story

The tale of Frankenstein is a frightful one — once you get through reading the dull romantic description surrounding the backbone of the tale. Honestly, I scary movies and horror stories freak me out. I am the biggest scared-y cat ever. So it is only rational that while reading Frankenstein I thought of numerous ways the entire monster situation could have been avoided. Therefore, this blog will be completely devoted to listing the many ways to preventing the horror stories from taking place — sometimes focusing on Frankenstein and other times hit movie horrors.

Deep Breath….. Here we go!

1. Never ever ever ever split up. That is how you die. Come on, really? You think it is a good idea to wonder into a corn field at night, by yourself? You are just asking for it.

2. Do not be afraid to make sacrifices — even if that means leaving your friend behind. Some friends of mine were watching Human Centipede last night (SOOOO DISGUSTING) and one girl was trying to escape. She would have to if she wasn’t dragging around her unconscious friend. She was caught and made into number two in the centipede. Yuck. (I added a link to a photo of the Human centipede….  I just couldn’t put something that disgusting on my blog.)

3. Frankenstein should have just believed his professors when they told him what he once studied was outdated. Listen to your professors instead of trying to defy the basic laws of science.

4. If you feel like you about to be emerged into a horrifying murder/serial killer/zombie monster movie — do not scream. If you must scream, do it silently or at low pitch. They tend to kill of the girls who scream high pitch first.

5. Hypothetically, if you do create a monster out of dead body parts, and  — hypothetically — if you succeed at bringing that monster to life, be nice to him.You created him! It was your idea, idiot! He is more confused of the series of events than you are. Really — do not run away and abandon him for 2 years. He might seek revenge and kill everyone you love.


One thought on “How to Prevent Your Life from Becoming a Horror Story

  1. I love the style and organization of this blog! I think it was a great idea to break down what every horror movie stereotypically does and to mock its predictability. I definitely think you have discovered the formula for all modern day scary movie flicks. I especially agree with rule number five–Dr. Frankenstein should have reacted differently to his creation of monster Frankenstein. Maybe if he wouldn’t have run out of the house in a panic, the Frankenstein’s could have been two peas in a pod. It’s interesting to speculate what could have been if Dr. Frankenstein would have embraced his creation, rather than curse it.

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